i regret trying, i feel sick that all it was was just awkward.
i don't like that i have to write it out and that i cant keep it in. can't keep it in a journal.

i hate that i didn't take that plane for you.
i hate that i didn't go there in my head and in my heart for you because i was too afraid
i'm ashamed that i couldn't be better, that i couldn't make it better. that i didn't make you laugh.

i hate that i want to cry now because all it feels like is that it's too long and too far gone.
i can't walk this with you, i can't even be there for you and i feel like i really messed up
i wish i'd done more because i do love you and when it came to it i couldn't do for you what you did for me
what you do for everyone else every day

let me try again
and if i can be anything at all for you from across the seas
i will because i know i'm stronger now and i can do this
and i'm not the kind to not get up after i fall
i'm still here, i screwed up but i'll try again
not for myself but for you
because i want you to get you across

without all the braveness that i know you posses and you have called upon
not with me please not when i let you in
all i want is to be let in so you can let out